As a Christian have you even wondered, does God still love me? He knows it all. Everything I’ve ever done not to mention the things I’ll do between now and the time I stand before Him. How could He truly love me knowing all that?
I thought this and I struggled with it a lot, especially after sinning again and again. Sure I’d repent, but then I’d sin again and repent again. I came to realize through reading, studying and applying God’s Word that He isn’t like us. He doesn’t keep a recorded list! Thankfully I’ve learned not to too.
It’s a refreshing feeling to get in an argument or be correcting someone and when they ask for an example of what your accusing them of, to have to say I can’t remember the details I just know you’ve done it before. Maybe it’s so refreshing because I used to keep a scorecard and now I don’t. In those times when I would have been able to bring them a list, and not a short one, and have every infraction, I can only offer to bring it to their attention next time if they want me to.
It’s also a joy to take God at His word. When he says, my forgiven sin is as far from the East as the West or that it’s forgiven and forgotten, then I know it is. I know in my being that if I sin, He may take corrective measures, but He loves me as much now as before I committed the sin.
I think maybe it’s hard for us because we are used to living in a performance-based world. If you do this I’ll like you, if not, I won’t. We learn it as kids and I’m afraid most never unlearn it. Also, we have different levels of expectations for different people. Then when they shock us by a betrayal of our established expectations we are wounded beyond what we were ready for. We knew they could do this or that and mentally we were somewhat ready, but when someone does something beyond our expectations, we are overwhelmed. God has already seen us at our worst and choose to love us. We can’t shock Him!
Most importantly, as just mentioned: He chose to love us. Many people have been fooled into thinking that love is an emotion or a feeling that just comes upon us. That is not so! True love always involves a choice, a conscience and clear choice. I can choose to love someone today and tomorrow after they’ve hurt me, I must choose again: will I love that person? If my love is to be like God’s: unconditional, then I must choose to love them again and again. I’m in no way proclaiming the ease of love, nonetheless, it is and will always be a choice for us: moment-by-moment, day-by-day. Emotions come as a result of our choices. Thankfully God doesn’t’ change His mind like we do.